: MediaTakeOut.com caught wind that R&B singer Usher is opening up about his relationship with his father. In a recent interview with a UK paper - Usher said the following.
On his father's death:
Alcohol and substance abuse led to [my father's] death. He had many problems and never addressed it. Unfortunately it went on too long and took his life ... My father became a failure to substance abuse and I didn't empathize with him, I didn't have sympathy because I thought it was a cop-out."On meeting his father - who walked out on him and mother Jonnetta when Usher was just a toddler:
"My mother unsurprisingly wasn't very fond of my father - she kept her distance and suggested I did as well. She never wanted me to meet my dad. But as a man I had to make my own decision. What if he died and I never got the chance to meet him? I was happy that I did, happy that I got closure, happy that I forgave him for not being there and that I knew he really did love me.He went on to say:
My son didn't meet his grandfather because I felt this vicious cycle of life was far too repetitive. I felt like my son helped to break a curse that has plagued my family, of fathers not being there for their sons.WOW!! Usher actually gave a real interview. Ain't it refreshing to see someone say something other than I worked with producer blah-blah ... Album in stores - go cop that ...
Get over it, Usher. You're a grown as man now. This is sad, just like Halle Berry who never went to her own fathers funeral, because he was abusive to her mother. Regardless, they are your parents and forgiveness is the key. It's gonna burn him inside for the rest of his life for not letting his old man see his own grandson and still holding on to the anger. LET IT GO.
WOW!!!!!! I WAS WONDERIN WHERE USHER'S DAD WAS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE MEN.....AND Y THEY JUST DON'T WANNA STICK AROUND, GET 2 KNOW THEIR KIDS & LOVE THEM. IM GLAD THAT USHER GOT CLOSURE AND 4GAVE HIS FATHER B4 HE PASSED. I TRULY COULD RELATE. MY FATHER & I HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER SINCE 2000.....HE HAS A DRINKIN PROBLEM WHICH HE DOESN'T THINK IS A PROBLEM & HE'S A CHAIN SMOKER.....I DON'T EVEN KNW IF HE'S ALIVE, SICK OR WHAT.....I DO WANNA KNW AND I THINK I'VE GROWN 2 4GIVE MY FATHER AS WELL.....BUT AFRAID 2 APPROACH THE STEPS OF GETTIN CLOSE 4 SOME REASON.
To begin, I don't think this is an issue of Usher needing to grow up. I am confident the interviewer brought this up first and Usher just answered the questions. Usher is a dang on millionaire and his father had nothing to do with it so I doubt he is harping on that.
Next, Usher is a grown azz man and he can decide whether or not he wants his son around a man who deserted him and his mother. All we have to do is forgive in our hearts...we DO NOT have to be associated with people we have forgiven. He said he didn't want his son around him and that's that. Heck, the man didn't care about his own son so why would he care about a grandson?! Gimme a break.
What maturity!!! That's when problems are recognized and resolved, when cyles are broken. More black people need to do this--break the cycles of their mothers and fathers and to heal old wounds.
As Usher said, his father opted to die because he continued to abuse drugs. What could anyone do? No one can love away drugs from anyone. He owed this man nothing.
usher is getting on my damn nerves i am no longer a fan, it seems as though he has change since he became married what happen. he's always so defensive of his wife keep saying how much he loves her wwho cares.stop trying to convince everyone how u feel. ur dead wrong for not letting ur son meet ur father. and i just can't get with he fired his mom KARMA IS A BITCH!!!!!
I can completely understand where Usher is coming from. My father is a drug addict and I know how much pain it caused when he left. I wouldn't want my children to see him in that state and I wouldn't want them getting attatched to him because at the rate he is going, he could die soon. I wouldn't want my children to go through that same hurt that I went through.
Usher is grown. That is a hard, grown azz man/woman decision to make because you really don't know if you will or wont regret it later in life. But you have to move on and do the best you can. You gotta go on with your life and do your best to provide a better one for your children.
Keep your head up Usher!!! Because despite your father leaving, you turned out damn good and did NOT become just another statistic.
His son is one of the reasons that Tameka is wearing a wedding ring. It seems to me that Usher is big on being there for his son even if that measns being with the childs mother. But this makes me wonder if Usher metting his father was what him and his mother were arguing about, since they keep saying it was not b/c of Tameka.
I can't say i disagree with Usher's actions. His father abandoned him to keep a lifestyle that led to his own death. It isn't a case of Usher being judgemental, it's a case of him keeping a man who was obviously poison away from his son. like usher said as a man he had to make his own decisions and his father was a man who decided to leave behind his son for drugs and alcohol. I don't feel sorry for his father at all
I don't know about Usher anymore. It seems like when he got with ashy feet Tameka he has become real cold and bitter. What every happen to the Usher from CONFESSIONS. He was alittle more sensitive. I guess when you got that big azz ashy foot on your neck it will make you change.
Not impressed with the new album at all!!!!!
YOU CAN FORGIVE , BUT YOU NEVER FORGET , IF HE WAS MY FATHER I WOULD HAVE FORGAVE HIM LIKE USHER DID . BUT YOU LEFT ME AS A BABY AND CHOSE DRUGS OVER ME AND BELEIVE ME I KNOW WHAT DRUGS DO TO FAMILIES . THIS WAS USHER'S RIGHT IF THIS IS THE WAY HE CHOSE TO DEAL WITH HIS FATHER AS HE SAID HE FORGAVE HIM AND THATS ALL GOD ASK US TO DO.
@ DREAMA17: REAP & SOW
I understand what he means about breaking the cycle. We accept fathers that leave their kids by letting by gones be by gones. We think it ok for a guy to leave a woman or vice versa, and just walk back into that kids life. SOMETIMES WE NEED TO THINK OF THE FUTURE AND WHAT WE CAN LOSE!! if people thought to themselves, my kid may never want me back in their life because i left them then maybe people WOULD FIGHT to overcome things, no one is perfect but leaving a kid is the worst thing a human being to do!!! no excuses at all
just like his father did what he had to do, sometimes people will do what they have to do and not accept you back in their lives because you broke that simple trust! come on black people we we need to get with it, no disrespect to the good men and women out there, but black families are bad right now
No one knows how his father not being there effected him. He is the victim, not his deadbeat dad. Maybe that is why he is trying to still it out with Tameka because his dad not being there really effected him. Also, I agree with the other poster that said that it amazes her how people want their children after they make it without them.
Wow. Very sad story. Usher really does come with the truth in his music and his interviews. He's much more than talking about when his album is going to drop, or what producers he's working with like you said. Btw, I can relate to Usher about not having a father in his life. Although his father walked out on him and his mom and my mom divorced my dad (and for good reason btw), the similarity is that my father never tried to be in me and my sister's life. Just because he and my mother were no longer together did not give him the right to toss us aside. But, I'm over it now....I now know I was better off w/o him.
If Usher wanted to break the cycle he should have let the grandson meet Usher the 3rd. After all...he named his son Usher V. That would have brought further closure and truly ended the cycle.
Also, substance abuse is a symptom of a cause...no one wakes up and say "damn I wanna smoke some crack"...it's usually an escapism of some sort. Most substance abusers haven't really dealt with the cause of the abuse because most people critizise the actions. We gotta get to the bottom of these problems for the future generations sake.
SO WHAT HE DOES NOT HAVE TO LET HIS SON MEET THAT MAN............... He is a stranger to USHER
He chose to walk out and now that his son is famous he want some money and wanna be grandad and want to get some respect and attention
FYI...... THIS DEAD BEAT HAS RUIN HIS OWN LIFE AND FOR YOU BLACK MEN THAT DONT TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD 100% Your a*ss will HAVE BAD LUCK ANDEND UP DEAD, STRUNG OUT OR JUST HAVING A HARD LIFE IN GENERAL.......
It never fails men that dont do right by there children always end up old alone, disgusting and poor.... and that is just the life that they created by walking away. Why should your child be there for you when you were not there for your child when he or she needed you the most?
DIE MUTHAFUKA....DIE SLOW......I WONT SHED A TEAR
Usher, you wrong! Point blank. Forgive and let go! This man was on his dying bed. You could have brought your child to see him. It's not like she will remember him anyway. I can see if this was a friend you are talking about. It's your dad. The one who bought you into this world. Like I said, forgive and let go.
His mother loved his father at once..... a cop -out I don't know them personally but I do know people for whatever the reason they choose to do other things to hurt themselves and others...
When u think about it the his dad and mom created .. 'usher'. Regardless
Usher should had his father see his grandson it would perhaps meant something to this dying man...
Usher should think of it as a blessing....
Wake Up Usher!!!
This is really serious. Not just this one incident, but others as well. To begin with, the bisexual allegations, the marriage, deterioration with the relationship with his mother, the failure to truly forgive his father: This is too much for one to handle.
I do see a mental breakdown on the horizon. You better get prayed up my Brother!
MTO quote: "WOW!! Usher actually gave a real interview. Ain't it refreshing to see someone say something other than I worked with producer blah-blah"
Usher should only give "real interviews" to responsible media outlets that have mre to say about someone than to dog out their wives and them as well as MTO does on the regular. Do you really expect for an artist to respect an organization that talk sideways about them every other day? To top it off, if you all(MTO) don't outright make up something you just steal it off of another site and claim it as your own, and then demand credit for it.
Usher did what he thought was right and none of us can judge him on it. It's a vicious cycle and it does leave scars and voids. Only a card carrying idiot would tell another person to forget their pain. Moving forwrd is the right thing to do but you never ever forget what you lost or missed out on. Maybe just maybe it was a blessing in disguise for Usher because if he had had his father in his life he may not have become who he is today. His pain gave him a hunger and a drive that led him to success.
my dad was not there for me at all growing up my grand dad was there but when he died my dad wanted to be there for me and i was mad as hell but i got over it and now i no longer feel about about him it makes my emotions over him better i think from my account of it it would feel better to forgive i'm just saying
First, I have to say I can't TOTALLY relate, because my parents did nothiing like that. However, there have some thing I didn't like. That being said, family is family. Yes, you can not forgive. But, if they come back seeking forgiveness, I think you should. Not to sound self-righteous, but if you do, it will go down as you did all you could, and the blame can only be on them. Rid yourself of it. And he really should not have made that decision for his son. He was the one that went through it.
@DONTE....
if he did not want his son to see his dad why name him usher V all over again he really is all over the place with his emotions
NOW THATS A GOOD QUESTION I WOULD LOVE SOMEONE-ANYONE TO ASK IN AN INTERVIEW........lol Would we get the answer???? I guess Neek Neek would have to help on that too>>>??? *GO BOSTON*GO BOSTON*GO BOSTON*
I've never personally experienced a situation of this nature. My parents are still together and my father is my hero. BUT I have an aunt with 5 children who were either raised by our family or became a part of the system due to drug abuse. Seeing the effects of substance abuse first hands, its an illness. First, something triggers your need to use. Once you're hooked nothing matters but that next high because they are trying to escape something! A crackhead doesn't want to be a crackhead, but some do not have the power to stop. They aren't mentally capable of stopping no matter how much their heart wants to.
With that being said, my aunt has grandchildren and all of them know and love her to pieces. She loves them back and they were her inspiration to get clean. My cousins made the decision to have their children in her life. They understand what an addict is. Usher has his reasons for doing what he did, but its obvious he's not completely over his father's actions.
It's truly sad to hear people say "[EXPLETIVE] his dad" or "he was a deadbeat" "he shouldn't forgive him"
shame on you.
These are the same folks who might have begged for forgiveness of someone themselves. Ushers fathers issues probably started WAY before he met his mom, or his mother might have had something to do with those issues. Did someone sit him down and ask? Did Usher even ask? Since he was a grown man, why didn't he?
Sometimes when people hurt you, there is usually a underlying premise behind it that has nothing to personally do with you. Some people harbor resentment and pass it on to you not even knowing what they are resentful about. And we as people, stuck in our own egos won't even think about that.
Usher's father walked out on him, or his mother left and she probably left him for a good reason. But, however it went down, it was in divine order. His father wasn't born a deadbeat dad. Something happened to him that maybe he didn't have an outlet to talk about. You know black folks don't talk to eachother we talk at eachother. Think about it, would Usher have been the star he was today if his mother wasn't determined to make a star out of him? All children deserve to have both parents actively present in their lives but, You as a child came here to manifest a destiny. It was ment to be that his father wasn't there. He (usher) might have picked up his habits. He might have witnessed something far worse in life with his father present. So anyway you want to cut it, just reconize that it was ment to be.
Those who hold resentment in you hearts will not move forward. resentment is energy that transfers from person to person, generation to generation. And we sit here and wonder why we hate eachother? You have to forgive. I didn't say forget, but forgive. And I didn't say stick around, but get to the bottom of the problem, solve the problem, learn your lessons, cut your losses, and move on. We have to get to the bottom of these wounds we have from prior generations and from our own childhood and stop passing the buck. Stand up and say "I'm in pain" or "This is why I hurt you, because I'm hurting." And then propose what should be done about it.
Get beyond your ego and ask some questions or express how you feel and come to a solution, even if it hurts you because in the end you will be glad you did. Then you can truly be free to move on. And remember everything is in Divine order, even when someone mistreats you because there is a lesson in everything. So tell them THANK YOU.
Soon you will be able to heal others. Stop tearing eachother down no matter how much it hurts. Take a stand for yourselves. This is foolishness.
He went on to say:
"My son didn't meet his grandfather because I felt this vicious cycle of life was far too repetitive. I felt like my son helped to break a curse that has plagued my family, of fathers not being there for their sons."
SO NOW WE NOW WHY YOU MARRIED THAT MAN TAMEKA!! (SORRY SHE'S UGLY!!) BUT I ADMIRE YOU FOR BEING A STAND UP GUY... WISH YOU ALL THE BEST...BUT I THINK USHER NEEDS TO BE CAREFUL.... HE SHOULDN'T PUT ALL HIS EGGS IN ONE BASKET... I UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR WIFE IS IMPORTANT TO YOU... BUT SOMETIMES IT'S SMART TO TAKE HEED OF EVERYONE'S PERCEPTION.. THEY CAN SEE PASSED WHAT YOU FEEL SOMETIMES.... I WOULD HATE FOR HIM TO LOSE EVERYONE BEHIND HER.... THERE IS A WAY TO HAVE YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY AND YOUR IMMEDIATED FAMILY... NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO CHOSE BETWEEN THE TWO...
USHER V IS NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD YET...HOW WOULD HE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FORM AN OPINION OF HIS GRANDAD?...USHER...YOU DO KNOW THAT HE WILL EVENTUALLY ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS GRANDFATHER OF THE SAME NAME...DON'T YOU?...WELL, I SINCERELY HOPE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER...WHOSE NAME YOU BOTH CARRY...REMEMBER...SOME STORIES ARE BETTER LEFT UNTOLD...JUST LEAD BY EXAMPLE POPPA!
i cant comment on him allowing his dad to see his son..its his own decision...however, i wish he would seek healing...he needs to know that his dads addiction was a disease and not by choice..he wasnt absent by choice..i had the same problems, usher, until i experienced them myself..it is truly a disease like any other, cancer, etc..just because a person has an addiction, it does not lessen their love, they are just typically unable to function as sober people do..and usher, YOU broke the cycle, not your son...you are an accomplished young man that appears to be leading a healthy lifestyle..and btw, you have beautiful teeth, lol...
and it was just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG for ush's mom to put negative thoughts towards his dad in his head..she planted that seed based on HER experience with the father and ushers relationship with his father is an entirely different kind..she should have never interferred with that...i dont understand why women do that, keep the kid away from their dads..most junkies DO try to pull it together when around their kids...usher was robbed of this...
usher did what he felt was right in his heart, to people that has had both parents in your life you dont know how hard it is to be without a father or mother. i grew up hating my father because i thought he ran out on us, he disappeared when i was 3 years old. i wrote school essays hating him and saying if he were dead i would not shed a tear. i regret it all now because after 18 years we reunited in 2004 when i was about to graduate from high school. we all sat down & he explained why he left and it was more my mom's fault than his which i didnt know at the time. life is too short to hate but usher was justified with despising his dad.
Alcoholics see them selves not others. Selfish, self centered, and self consumed are words that can be used to describe them.. Oh and lets not for get weak in the mind, body, and soul. It's not an illness it's a choice!
Good for you Usher!
You have grown up so much! I support you and your beautiful family.. God bless U..
That's wasn't right of Usher's mom to plant that seed of negativity in his head by telling him not to contact his father. That wasn't her place. Im glad he did and received the closure that he needed. Im also glad that he recognizes that vicious cycle and has been willing to break it. Alot of people don't and they pass on that same curse to each generation.
Why should Usher have let him see his son? He's not obligated to do that. That's his child Especially if the man was never around to begin with.
While this might seem like a socal real interview for MTO to me it is just a whole bunch jargons. It doesn't seem like the cycle is over, Usher still have some healing to do. Unfortunely for him the closure will be a tougher journey because his father is no longer with us. But this can be done. In his own little dejected mind he thought not making his son see his father was breaking the cycle when in fact the his action is quite the opposite. The action of a heal person would have been dramatically different. I think he would have captivated my interest, but he is on his way though got to give to him. Hopefully when he gets there he would be able to formulate his feelings in a more comprehensible manner.
A lot of moms discourage their children from contacting or having relationships with their fathers and it's wrong. Just because the relationship did not work out or something happens to where a heart is broken is no excuse to keep a man from his kids. But it happens all the time each and every day. There are fathers that do the same as well and it's also wrong. It's not about us or our differences it's about the children needing and benefiting from having both parents in their lives. Women especially need their fathers to be the role model for their decisions later on in choosing a mate. Those that don't are forever "looking for daddy" and their inability to maintain steady and healthy relationships are a result of.
Usher is not gay, I don't know why people insisted on calling someone a homosexual when they are not. What's with the obsession with that? I think this truly displays the man Usher has become. Fathers can leave a lot of hurt on children and for him to even give him a time of day, that speaks volumes. I'm so glad he's more than willing to step up to his responsibility as a father, and break this vicious cycle in the black communities. Big ups to Usher!
BTW- I have nothing against homosexuality, I just get sick of the world thinking everybody who doesn't act like a gang banger is gay. Those fake thugs are the ones you should worry about. They're homo-thugs.
@mandingo7777, I agree that a child should have closure with that parent that was absent in their lives, but I on the other hand I believe it's the other parent's way of trying to protect the child. Especially if you know at the end the child will not benefit from the meeting. Sometimes the child is left feeling even more rejected than before. I believe it's a decision the individual child should make when they are mature enough. I don't believe the mother or father should trash talk the other parent, but can warn them to not get their hopes up.
All this goes to show is tht all u deadbeat sperm donors need to help raise ur children not becuz they can 1 day become millionaires but becuz u r affecting generations by not being present. To all the ignorant folks judging his wife trust and believe she has and had more bank than u so stop hating. She is a BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN. When did we start putting down r people just becuz they look like us. It's amazing how u react to Kim K. pics "oh she's sooo beautiful". Stop the self-hate people.
